It is a fact men love women. They are afraid of women, stimulated by women, intimidated by women and motivated by women.

However for a woman it can be a fine line between being noticed, admired, pursued by a man she is interested in getting to know better, feeling completely invisible to the opposite sex and being pestered by a creep.

I get asked by lots of beautiful young fantastic women in free life coaching sessions, How do I make my boyfriend propose? How do I get him to say he loves me? How do I get the ring?

If there was a magic wand that could make a man desire you and I owned it, I would be a billionaire by now! From a young age I watched my mother and then Bette Davis deal with welcome and unwelcome advances alike always with a sense of humour but letting the chancer or cad in question know clearly not to mess.

Life is like a simple walk in the park. You always get what you attract back into your life, so if you give off a "I am desperate and just want a man in my life come what may" vibe you will get one for sure but the wrong on for all the wrong reasons.

I am a great believer in the saying “Better to be alone than wish you were alone” because it’s never going to work with a man if you trap, trick or beg for his love. Men like to chase not be chased.

If you truly want to make a man desire you it’s important you understand their basic needs, when they first clap eyes on you it usually all begins with eye contact, a big smile and then either great conversation or his eyes divert to your breasts or bum if talking is not an option.

Rule number one:

You will not be desired by anyone if you are pissed, passed out or partying so hard you have become more male than female. Men like women who act like women.

If you have already made the fatal mistake of getting pissed and have woken up in bed with a complete stranger, a mammoth hang over and no memory of the evenings shenanigans, getting him to desire you might be tricky, more likely he will find an excuse to kick you out. 

Rule number two:

Never do the deed before you do the deal. Once he has had you, he is unlikely to want to get to know you more, unless for a quick shag on his terms.

Men look for sex first and find love second, so be sexy for sure, even flirtatious but hold back on giving him sex until you know what his intentions are. I know in this sexualized society this might sound out of date or old fashioned but we all know that walk of shame only leads to misery, regret and endless tears desperately looking for anything to make him want to see you again.

Rule number three:

I have learnt a great deal from all my discussions with men of all ages in free life coaching sessions about what men want from women. Men do like it in the moment when women are all over them but they are always, always, always more interested in the mysterious girl who hangs back and doesn't put everything out there. And because men are fundamentally much more insecure than women the most attractive qualities they tell me are not big boobs or bigger bottoms surprise surprise but core values like fidelity and loyalty.

Rule number four (and most important of all):

Next time you are looking for a good movie to watch with your girlfriends forget that rom com you've seen a million times for once and pick a Bette Davis classic like All About Eve or Mr. Skeffington instead. Remember if a man is horrible to you he probably desires you. He will actually do anything to impress you because all males love the chase and the kill even more. So don't be so nice to him, be a bit more aloof, busy, unavailable, tease him back, even make fun of him, be the bait but never have sex until the 10th date.

 

Photo by: Alexandru Zdrobău