In years gone by I have found myself  making the fatal mistake of spending hours, competing with other irate, frustrated shoppers, desperate to pick up a bargain after being paid.

And I usually abort the mission to shop,  food and essential supplies I can always get from my local village store, where the choices are limited but at least there is no chaos and competing, just the simple things I need. Black Friday has swung around again I got to thinking about why shopping for a bargain sends us crazy and shopping for simple things like food becomes such a stressful experience that, pandemic aside, you almost dread venturing outside until January arrives.

So when it comes to Black Friday why do our brains suddenly forget about everything else?

When we are confronted with those big red sale signs constantly being pushed in our faces from every angle, luring us in without mercy our brains temporarily lose sight of everything. This happens because shopping activates the reward system in the brain and stops us thinking rationally in the moment.   

If the very thought of taking part in the annual ritual of Black Friday mayhem gives you the hump rather than the rush of excitement, you are not alone and do not need to participate if you don’t want to. For every crazed bargain hunter poised to spend spend spend money they don’t have, there is always someone else sensible enough to stay in doors and relax assured in the knowledge, they will not get trampled on at 5am in the freezing cold queue to debt hell.

Pretty much everything we do as consumers is an attempt to reduce stress but the irony is, getting into debt to reduce stress in fact produces more stress. I always think it is important to remember what you believe is a big Black Friday bargain, is actually a rip off because if a business can drop an item by 75%, there must be huge profit margins in there somewhere to begin with. Anything that seems too good to be true probably is, right?

Rather than thinking about our normal behaviour when shopping, on Black Friday we adopt Black Friday behaviour which is very different. It suddenly becomes more acceptable in our minds to act more aggressively and competitively.

Sadly, as much as I hate to say it (I will anyway), we are sheep who copy each other without consciously considering the aggressive behaviour exhibited when we believe there is a bargain to be had. When those around us succumb to indulgences, we're more likely to succumb as well.

Does this mean we are helpless to the whims of the crowd on Black Friday? I don’t think so since we can always exert self-control. If you must indulge in bargain hunting, why not do it from the comfort of your own home, online, at your own pace? People may tell you that you are missing out on that huge 100 foot mega TV or the latest gold plated iPhone but just because other people believe something doesn’t make it true.   

Around the holidays you are likely to feel flustered by extra responsibilities, always feeling rushed and pressured. Its Black Friday and you have last minute X-mas shopping to do, Thanksgiving travel delays, and too many demands to think straight, so my advice is simple. Ask yourself this question. Can you teach yourself to get control over your stresses and lead a healthier and happier life throughout the year?

Yes of course you can, you just must think more independently, get creative and be firm with friends and family by just not participating in the competive aggressive madness of Black Friday shopping. If you don't like the bad habits of the script you are unconsciously following on autopilot for fear of missing out, edit then revise it. 

It’s not easy to change negative patterns from thinking about changing, to actually making positive changes. In this process you may become your own saboteur but at least if you try to change and succeed, you might just save yourself from unnecessary debt and unhealthy stress.

Why not this year instead of overindulging in something you just cannot afford both mentally or in your pocket, suggest opting out of any Christmas shopping and jump into volunteering to feed the homeless. This way you end up doing good and looking good at the same time.

Life is stressful enough without adding any more pressure to shop on top and I have come to the conclusion, unless you truly, from the bottom of your heart, can justify why you participate in following everyone else and buying in, Black Friday should be erased from the calendar and be replaced with a reality check for all of us.

Photo by: Markus Spiske Unsplash