We are constantly bombarded with subliminal messages encouraging us to shop till we drop and because this is what we believe will make us all happy, be accepted by others and help keep the economy boosted and moving we buy in. As consumerism becomes a measure of our social worth we need to face it, we have all been led up the wrong garden path because living your life riddled with constant debt worries is just not sustainable or healthy for our happiness. Happiness is not getting what you want but still wanting it after you have got it as Katherine Hepburn is famous for saying.

Compulsive shopping is a way of escaping your deep rooted negative feelings, like depression, anxiety, boredom, self-critical thoughts, and anger but unfortunately the escape is always short-lived. The purchases are often simply hoarded unused and compulsive shoppers like I used to be will immediately begin to plan the next spending spree in order to get the instant fix again, just like a drug addict.

A budget lifestyle, very common in Hollywood where there's a lot more talk about money than actual money, is not something to be ashamed of or even be depressed about because living within your means in reality, is your truth and actually very sensible. Anything you purchase on credit, buy now pay later, is never going to make you happy because you will be constantly broke and resentful at having to pay for something you are over, dislike or never needed in the first place. If you think shopping is the best feeling in the world you have to face the fact you are a shopaholic and being a shopaholic can have serious consequences, especially when you are living beyond your means.

I remember when I was very rich and could buy anything I desired, I would often completely forget an important purchase made for someone else when checking my credit card statement, thinking my credit card must have been stolen. This kind of selective memory loss is common among people with addictions because we do not connect ourselves with the person who is often out of control. Anyone who considers material possessions to be central to their life and their identity, especially if you cannot afford it, is brainwashed and sadly delusional. We have to stop looking outward for the answer to our changing moods and instead take a peek inward to discover who we really are and why we feel the need to buy stuff we just don't need or will never be satisfied with.

So how do you do this?

I can tell you from my own personal history of a serious shopping addiction, money, shoes, exotic travel etc. may seem to be the answer in the moment but is never the key to developing self worth; that only comes when you have nothing but your behaviour and values to go on. A budget lifestyle allows you to work out what you can and cannot afford to survive, in other words pay the bills and trust me there is nothing more satisfying and rewarding than saving up for something you truly love and desire. We don't always get what we want but we must always strive for what we need.

If you spend your life worrying about what others think of you based on what you have, you are never going to be happy but if you save your hard earned cash and budget for your lifestyle, when you do have some spare cash to splash you will find, you will be naturally more careful and make much better choices when it comes to spending it.