Most people, me included go through life without ever really questioning why we are here and what's to point of it all until we hit a road block or something so dramatic happens like the 2000 global stock market crash that knocks us down so far we cannot get back up again. Things like death, loss, divorce, ill health can have a profound effect on our state of mind.
When I was flying high, making loads of money, travelling the world, shopping in Chanel I didn't think one day I would be sitting on Hermosa Beach, CA with a homeless man and not a penny to my name feeling suicidal. When things get so unmanageable, emotional overload, we search for a way out and if we don't have the right coping skills or support network, thoughts of suicide naturally follow.
If you are feeling suicidal right now the most important thing to know is suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
It was only after my own failed suicide attempt with no money to pay for the therapy I desperately needed I was forced to explore Self Therapy. For the first time in my life I realised I wasn't invincible. I needed real help. You can only understand the feeling of complete embarrassment and shame of these suicidal feelings if you've been to this place yourself.
I discovered finding the meaning of your life can be like finding a needle in a haystack. Your psyche is your truth and your instinct. When clouded or hidden behind your rubbish, lies, happiness disappears and you are left in chaos. Unravelling your life starts by admitting to yourself it is all one big lie. Facing yourself and listening to yourself takes courage, determination and skill.
Venus Cow says “It is not easy to admit you are a loser.”
The truth is, sooner or later you are going to end up with your life in a train crash if you are just travelling recklessly repeating the same destructive behaviour over and over again.
The brutal bashings of self analysis and finally being connected to the side of you not yet discovered, allows you to step out of the chaos to take an objective look at unravelling what is your truth and what is not.
Now ask yourself, “Do I like myself?”
Common sense tell us if you don’t like you, how can others like you.
Venus Cow says “Changing the way you think will change the things you get.”
If you suddenly got a call, out of the blue, saying you had won the lottery, write down what you would feel.
Now think about someone calling you back saying they had made a mistake and you had not won the lottery, write down what you would feel.
The truth is, if you are truly happy inside both answers would be the same. We have to recognise it is not money and materialism that makes us happy. You cannot buy your life at Harrods, only stuff to go into your life.
Venus Cow says, “ Get one."
How far are you prepared to go to keep conning yourself?
Being connected to nature is the perfect place to start your meditation and self therapy, that is if you have not already given up on yourself. For those who are still with us who want to be happy, go sit somewhere quiet, in a field or on a beach alone. Swing in a hammock or rock in a rocking chair. Clear your mind, listen to nature, breath deeply and begin at the beginning.
Start by ask yourself this question “Why am I really unhappy?” And then listen for the answer.
Photo by: Phi Phi Unsplash